There is power in the name of Jesus

It’s amazing what God uses to bring us closer to Him.   I want to share with you what has been going through my life in the last month that I wasn't able to share before today.

On December 19, I had a doctor’s appointment.  It was time for my yearly exam, the one thing that every woman dreads, especially me.  Last year at this time, I was finding out I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and had tiny little cysts on my ovaries.  This year, I was hoping for good news.

But then the doctor said the words no one ever wants to hear.  She felt a lump in my left breast and wanted me to go in for more tests, an ultrasound to start. 

My heart dropped.  So many thoughts went through my mind.  Cancer.  I have no insurance.  Cancer.  I’m too young.  Cancer. 

The nurse gave me the orders for the ultrasound and an application to have my ultrasound covered by a program called Links for Life.  She said that it may take a little bit to hear if I had been approved.  The next 2 weeks were some of the hardest I’I've had to live through.

Every time I started worrying, I started praying.  I shed many tears and hid many more from my friends and family.   Being alone was the worst.  There was no one to occupy my thoughts, no one I had to hide the tears from.  Driving in the car to work, I listened to K-Love.  God knew what songs I needed to hear to remind me to give it all to Him. 

7eventh Time Down’s song “Just Say Jesus” was one of those songs.

When you don't know what to say
Just say Jesus
There is power in the name
The name of Jesus
If the words won't come
Cause you're too afraid to pray
Just say Jesus

Last week, I got the call that my ultrasound had been approved.  I called and scheduled an appointment for January 8.  I was nervous and scared, even more so than I had been in the past 2 weeks.

I started shaking in the dressing room while changing into the gown.  I was so nervous I was cold and felt like I couldn’t get warm.  The ultrasound tech explained what she was going to be doing and asked me to show her where the doctor found the lump. 

She examined and took pictures of my right breast and then moved to my left breast.  My heart rate went up.  After scanning and taking pictures, she asked me again where the lump was because she couldn't find it.  And I couldn't find it.  The tech then went and got the doctor and the doctor couldn't find it.

The doctor told me I could get dressed; the tests were negative.

I got up, got dressed and walked out to the truck where Kevin was waiting.  And then broke down in tears while Kevin prayed with me, thanking God.

We went to Hobby Lobby afterwards and playing overhead was the instrumental version of “You Are My All in All.”  And even today the song is still running through my head, the words fitting perfectly with how I’m feeling.

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

I'm no fool, I am not giving up on my God.  I will continue praising Him, remembering how He used this to bring me closer to Him.  

Creamy, cheesy, yumminess

Dinner tonight was a recipe I've made before and I will share for everyone else who loves homemade mac-n-cheese.  The recipe calls for smoked gouda, a smoky flavored cheese that Kevin and I found at Costco.   Personally, I think smoked gouda has too strong of a flavor to slice and eat out of hand, but combining it with the cheddar makes it out of this world!

Smoked Gouda Mac-n-Cheese

1 lb package short pasta (penne, elbow macaroni, etc)
4  tablespoons  butter
4  tablespoons  all-purpose flour
4  cups  milk
½  teaspoon  salt
½  teaspoon  fresh ground black pepper
8-oz block sharp cheddar cheese, grated (about 2 cups)
8-oz block smoked gouda cheese, grated (about 2 cups)
1 lb bacon, cooked and crumbled into pieces
2 small cans diced green chiles (optional)

Cook the pasta according to package directions, set aside.

Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium-low heat; whisk in flour until smooth. Continue whisking and cook for 2 minutes. Gradually whisk in milk. Whisking constantly, cook for 5 minutes or until thickened. Reduce heat to low and stir in salt, black pepper.  Stir in the cheese by the handful, making sure each batch is melted before adding more.  Stir in the bacon and chiles.

Pour the pasta in a lightly greased 9 x 13 x 2 baking dish. Spoon the cheese sauce over the pasta, stirring lightly to even out the sauce in the pan.

Bake at 400° for 20 minutes or until bubbly. Remove from oven, and prepare yourself for awesome mac-n-cheese.